GIRL ROBBING SOUTHERN BANKS
This is the only known picture of the “Hair Dryer Bank Robber.” The FBI believes bank tellers are being caught off guard by this person pointing a canary yellow hair dryer in their faces.
Special Agent Chuck Law of the FBI:
“This bank robber is emboldened by her success. She is really taking bank tellers by surprise when she pulls out a yellow hair dryer. People just get so confused about what is going on, so they compliantly hand over money. She is quite slick in exploiting people’s bewilderment.”
By: Rob D. Banks
SAVANNAH, GEORGIA — The FBI has been called in to help catch a bank robber who has robbed over 6 banks between Georgia and Louisiana armed with nothing more than a yellow hair dryer. The Government’s best profilers have been hard at work in determining the identity of the Hair Dryer Bank Robber and are coming up with nothing except the picture above.
The Hair Dryer Bank Robber dropped this brown bag of cash while police were in hot pursuit at a hold-up in Atlanta. She was able to elude police by disappearing into the trendy upscale shopping mall Phipps Plaza.
The robber is probably harmless, Law said. However, you can never know for sure, he said. The most passive woman can become extremely violent when shopping.
“No doubt this is a woman who has a severe shopping problem and perhaps even image issues,” Law said. “Some women are just so addicted to shopping; they will do anything to maintain that high of buying the latest fashions—even if it means robbing banks with hair dyers.”
Law had one final piece of advice for anyone encountering the Hair Dryer Bank Robber:
“Whatever you do,” he said, “let the woman have her money and go shop. We think getting money to feed her shopping addiction is all she really wants to do…. There is nothing more dangerous in this world than getting between a female and the latest deal at Gucci or someplace. It could be fatal.”
The GCC seconds that advice. Let the FBI handle it. You don’t want to be fluff-dried to death.