Hope you enjoy these!
BE CAREFUL SHOPPING
Here's a 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th. Also October 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful.
A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to.
The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.
But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked.
She took off running down the street.
A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming.
All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her.
This took everyone by surprise.
The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.
When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, "My only thought was to stop her.
After all, she was waving a fire-arm."
Since my purchases came to $19.06, I handed the cashier a twenty.
"Do you have six cents?" she asked.
"Sorry," I said after fishing around my pockets, "I have no cents."
"Finally," she muttered, "a man who can admit it."
Old Fashioned Marriage
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
She approached one of the women for an explanation.
"This is marvelous," said the journalist.
"What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"
Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"